just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
