why im i the only drunk person in the library?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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