physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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