dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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