For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
