I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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