Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My balls are so social today.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Success! We fucked roommates!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
