So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I think my fart just growled at me.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I DEMAND FORESKIN
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
