He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
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I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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