i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So apparently I’m into choking now
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