Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
