we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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