Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
