Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Randomize
