kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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