Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
