So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Randomize
