that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Randomize
