My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
