margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Randomize
