So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize