im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
