Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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