New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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