why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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