i think my tv is drunk
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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