I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
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I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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