It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
