I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize