We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
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I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
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Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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