I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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