you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
