halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
So vagazzling was a success
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
