p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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