were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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