this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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