You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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