Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Randomize
