your room smells of hookers.
And success
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
