You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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