Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
