i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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