I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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