gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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