you have to choose: penises or morals?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
