dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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