just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
