ya dads aren't the best wingmen
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
