Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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