He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
We need to rekindle our bromance
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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