my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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