you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
