You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
