fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize