How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
