The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
FUCK WHALES
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
