yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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